The Flatu-Cat

My daughter's cat is the world fartiest cat. I swear, this cat smells like it lives on nothing but baked beans and cabbage. Sometimes, I'll just be sitting here at my desk, minding my own business, when the odor of festering garbage and just-lit matches hits my nose, and all I can think of is, "Dear God! What is that smell?!?!?!"

This cat farts all day and all night. It farts when it is happy. It farts when it is upset. It farts when it is playing with the other cats (which sends them running in the opposite direction, too, and you know just how hard it is to gross out a cat!). It farts when it is sleeping. It farts when it is eating. I swear it farts to annoy me. No, seriously. It sleeps in the chair behind me when I am sitting at my desk and just farts up a storm (which, for this cat, is not difficult). When I turn to see if the cat is there, it always is, and it smiles at me (if cats can smile), as if to say, "Wow! that was a good one!"

It is also Camo Cat. It is the same color and pattern as my couch, and the cat likes to sit in the far corner, where no one ever sits, and then it likes to fart as soon as we sit down to watch TV. And you don't know where the smell is coming from for a while because the cat BLENDS. It is like a deer hunter in full-on "hiding-from-deer" attire when it sits on this couch, like the afore-mentioned hunter in a tree stand... except when this mythological hunter farts, there is no one to gag except himself. When this cat lets one rip, the room clears.

If this cat drank beer, its transformation into an uncouth hillbilly would be complete.

So Glad School's Almost Over

School ends for the semester on Friday, and I have a 3-page paper due on Friday, and four more postings to do on the message board, and I am done for the summer. I already had to register for Fall classes, though. One of those, I will have to drive into Spokane on Thursday nights from September to December. BUMMER! But it is a required class. But I have two 4.0s from the classes this Spring, so I am okay with that. But I am really, really glad that school's just about over. I am getting burned out... seriously.