Pondering

You all know about the place that hired me and then laid me off, right? Well, you would if you read this thing. Anyway, so, after they laid me off, I started doing my thing with Crescent Moon Design Studio again, and I posted a link to the work I had done for this other company. I mean, the guy said that he wanted to consider everything I had done for company as "contract work," even though that was never intimated to me at any point during the working relationship. Well, I took that to mean that, if I did the work as a contract worker, then that means that it is part of my portfolio as a designer and writer, so I posted a link to the work from my web site. That is acceptable. Anyway, so then the guy wants me to write something for his blog: a bunch of short news snippets for the tech industry, et cetera, and I do it and send it to him. Don't hear from him for a couple of days. I go to his web site a few days later, and, lo and behold! There is a new "News" link on his main page. Only, it's not what I sent him... well, it is... PART of it. Out of the context I wrote it in, it makes no sense. To top that off, it was not attributed to me (although, seeing how he mangled it, I am almost glad that it wasn't). Anyway, so then, a few days after that (I was trying to figure out a way to tell him to either remove the article or put it up as a whole with my name on it [and PAY me for it]) I get an e-mail from this guy. He informs me that, although the work I did was appreciated, the work was done by his company, not mine, so I needed to take the link down.

Now, this is WRONG on multiple levels. One, as a freelancer, you make your bread and butter by word of mouth, references, and your portfolio. If I was a contract employee for them this entire time, then that means that all the work I did can be referenced in my portfolio. I did the work. Yes, subcontracted through his company, but *I* did the work. Two, even though I was paid for the work, it was a pittance of what it was worth. I mean, search engine optimization is big business these days. I know what people will pay for this kind of thing, and it sure as heck is more than $500 or so. Thirdly, all the content writing I did for the company is uncredited unless I have that link. Now, that wouldn't bother me if we had all signed an agreement stating such, but we didn't. And, according to the terms of service I posted on my web site, I can use any work I do as promotional material unless asked not to in writing and both parties sign the agreement. Since I was never an "employee," I can use my work any way I want to so that I can generate more work.

In other news... I am getting better. I can speak normally now, and my nose isn't running like a spring branch, nor is it stuffed up like January in the middle of the Klondyke. I am hoping to be well enough to sing Saturday for band practice, but we'll see.

Tomorrow, I have to take these disks up to a client in Sandpoint and get paid. I should go to the bar and talk to them, but I don't feel like it. I know I won't later. At any rate, my friend, Dave, is helping me make some band posters for the New Year's gig, which is going to help me out ALOT. (Thanks, Dave!)

La la lalala

I came down with a cold just in time for a gig we had on Friday. I am still not feeling up to par. I actually lost my voice for three days following the gig. I am now resting, but I am distraught, because we may have another set of gigs on December 17th and 18th in Libby, Montana, and we have already been booked for New Years' Eve. I am just afraid to sing or talk at all for fear that I will mess my voice up, but I have to practice, too. Yipes! It's a catch-22 if I ever saw one.

Anybody Got A Whisk Broom?

The old saying goes: "When you get knocked down, just dust yourself off and start over."

So I am asking here for a whisk broom, because I got a little dirt on me.

I got laid off today. At first, the job was 4 days a week. And then two. And then one. And now, it's over. He says that he will be able to use me as a subcontractor, but I really kind of doubt that. They simply weren't ready for employees.

So, now, I have a choice: either I can look for another job as an employee or I can work on ym own business. I lean toward option two for myriad reasons, but there is surer money in option one. I am so confused.

Arg.

So, I have been working almost continuously doing graphics for a client, and, it seems, no matter how long I spend doing it, no matter how many changes I complete for this client, no matter how little I charge this client, this client is NEVER happy. "I want this changed and that changed and this changed and that changed... and I think you charged me for something you didn't do, so you will do these next edits for free... and I don't like this or this or that or that or this or THAT, especially... oh, and I will need a complete audit of everything you've done for me and how long you've spent on it and what you charged me for it...."

I don't need this. I don't need clients that badly.

This is how my life has gone since Friday:

I got up Friday and finished up some band posters for the gig on the 3rd. I then drove to a place that does copying and made 50 copies of the posters and then drove almost 30 miles to deliver what I thought would be the final revisions on the projects for this interminable client. This client kept me there for almost three hours telling me all the stuff she wanted changed, but, before even greeting me, announced that I had charged her for work I had not done. At first, I could not figure out what happened in that scenario, but I remembered that the job had only taken me about 20 minutes, and I was doing printing for her at the same time, so I didn't charge her for the other project, which was to convert 72 dpi RGB JPEGs into 300 dpi CMYK TIFs. I did the project, but I thought, "how odd... simply converting a poor quality photo into a higher quality will only tick the printer off, because it doesn't make the picture better, it just shows off the flaws more." But my job is not to think too much. It's just to do what I am told. Anyway, I did do it, and it only took a few minutes, so I didn't charge for that. But then this client wanted more edits, including doing things she had never mentioned to me before (such as making a certain video box be able to hold two VHS tapes instead of one), including ISBNs and bar codes that she had never given me, and making DVD disk art for four DVDs... with no images to work off of.

Okay, so I agree and then I ask for a check for the work I have done, which totals $170. This is where she asks me to audit everything I have done. I don't think this will be a problem since I kept a reference file on my other hard drive before it died and had to be replaced. I figure that I will just pull the files off that hard drive (including that one) and everything would be fine.

Okay, so, after I left there, I went to the bank and cashed my check and then took the posters to the bar. I met the band that would be playing there that night, and they seemed like really nice guys, even offering to find us other gigs. After that, I went shopping and then went home, exhausted and starving since I hadn't eaten all day, something that is dangerous for me since I am hypoglycemic.

Well, Saturday, I go to Richard's house to have my files extracted from this old hard drive (because putting it in my computer would void the warranty), and find out that, when the drive crashed, it wiped EVERYTHING off it. Irreplaceable pictures; 200 pages of the sequel to Night Cries, A Night Borrowed; my graphics work; and the file that kept track of all my freelance work. I had backups that went back to just before my appendix incident, but I had been sick and/or busy thereafter, so I lost about 100 files. I was devastated, not only because I had lost all that stuff, but because I could not prove A) that I had done the work converting the JPEGs to TIFs; B) that I did have the converted files and had merely copied the wrong folder to that CD that I gave to the client; C) that I had not charged the client for the work; and I did not have that file that would have proved all of it in one fell swoop.

Anyway, so I will end up doing these FINAL edits for free. I am upset about all of it.

The other thing that happened Saturday was that I went to the bar where we will be playing on the 3rd, and the band that was playing WANTED me to sing "La Bamba" with them, and everyone was impressed when I could do it without ever playing with that band before. I was pleased about that.

Exhausted

I am simply exhausted. I went to bed last night at 3:20 in the morning and got up at 6:30. I went to work, got very little accomplished, came home, went out to Mom's, took a nap on the couch, came home (again), watched some TV, and then worked on my website. Only a few pages to go.

But... I was supposed to do a bunch of work for my boss. I was going to do it this evening, but I worked on my stuff instead. I even told my Dad not to stop by after work because I needed some sleep, but now I will have to stay up anyway to get it done. Gak.

Yay, me!

I start a new job on Monday! Pay's good, and it's in the computer field!!!

Where Did The Monkey Come From?

So, I started work on at a "publishing house." Sort of. It's actually a distribution center for a "publishing company," but it's really not that, either. You know those old-timey snake oil salesmen who would wander from town to town hawking the latest miracle cure-all? This is something like that.

This guy that I am working for... well, I have never met him. The gals in the office are very nice and quite professional. Unfortunately, I cannot get over the fact that this guy's a shyster. He has written books (and, apparently, self-published them) about how the government is using vaccines and immunizations as a form of population control. He claims that the people that make the vaccines and immunizations are running the vaccines through cows, cats, and chickens -- picking up these animal's DNA along the way -- for the supposed immunities that these animals carry. He says, once these vaccines and immunizations enter your child's bloodstream, the damage begins, and the DNA from the animals begins to screw with your child's DNA. Further, the vaccines and immunizations are also heavily dosed with mercury, so, basically, you're signing your child's death warrant if you get him or her immunized.

WHAT A CROCK!

No kidding... I heard this conversation the other day:

CALLER: I heard that the polio vaccine is bad because you could catch polio if you get it.
OFFICE PERSON: Yes, that's true. The polio vaccine is particularly unsafe.
CALLER: Why is that?
OFFICE PERSON: Because the polio vaccine still has LIVE bacteria in it.

WELL NO DUH! If it DIDN'T have live bacteria in it YOU WOULDN'T BECOME IMMUNE TO POLIO! That's the way ALL vaccines work.

It's baffling to me that these people actually buy into this stuff. They are preying on the fears of the world's populace to make money. Because, you know, it's just lucky for all of us that this guy came around and revealed all of this to us, because HE HAS THE CURE! Yes, that's right! He has the cure for just about everything. The main seller seems to be this one product that, apparently, sends little shocks of electricity (although, they call it "vibrations") into a person through electrodes on the hands and feet. Simply set it to the right frequency and you can be cured of AIDS, Alzheimers, cancer, and MORE! All of this for only $1,800!!!!

Doesn't it make you just want to pull out your pocket book?!??! Anyway... the dedication page of his new book reads: "Dedicated to securing life for threatened Earth. May this work awaken the "100th Monkey" to the energy that activates DNA to direct divine destinies."

When It Rains...

I believe I mentioned that our drummer quit and we were looking for another one? Well, the guy in Delaware did turn out to be snowing us, so we continued our search for a drummer. I'll call him Lawnmower Man. He seemed like he was going to work out. He had all the right things... or so it seemed: he had a kit, he could play, he owned his own business so work wouldn't get in the way of practices, he wasn't married or seeing anybody so significant others wouldn't get in the way of gigs and practices... he even had (so he said) a complete lighting rig. Well, all righty, then. BUT, it turns out that he, like so many other drummers, was a flake. First, he said that he would come up for the entire weekend of the fourth and practice with us for four days. Well, he CLAIMED that his water pump went out on his car and he decided to stay home. Okay, I can almost see that. Strike One. He then said that he would be up the next weekend to practice and that he would stay the whole week so that we could practice for the gig on the 17th. Well, on Wednesday the seventh, I call him to verify plans. He says he's coming. I call him Friday the ninth, though, and he says that he has too much work lined up for Monday and Tuesday the following week to come up over the weekend and he doesn't want to make the trip twice, anyway. I say, "okay," and AGAIN confirm that he is coming up. He says he is. Okay: Strike Two. So, Lawnmower Man has told us at this point that he will be here at around noon on Wednesday the 14th. Well, on Tuesday night, I call to confirm, and he SAYS THAT HE WILL BE HERE. On Wednesday morning, though, there is an e-mail in my inbox from him that states -- extremely briefly and obtusely -- that the $50 he will make from the gig will not cover his fuel expenses and without more money he won't be able to come up. STRIIIIIIKE THREEEEE!!!!!!! So, I am PISSED. I have already spent about 6 hours cleaning the house and getting ready for him to stay here. I have spent around $35 on extra food to feed him. AND THIS IS MY THANKS?!?!?! So, in desperation, I call up the drummer who just quit the band and ask him if he'll pinch-hit for us. Nope, he says. So now, I am REALLY fuming. I call Lawnmower Man and inform him that because he said that he was coming, I took the gig on 17th. I told him that I would give him my $50 in addition to the $50 he would be making if he would just show up. Because, to me, playing music isn't about money. If you get into the music business to make money, you're in it for the wrong reasons, because, you ain't gonna get rich or even break even. You get into the music business because you love making music and for NO OTHER REASON. Lawnmower Man was fine with that scenario and said that he would come up. Well, by now, I DO NOT TRUST HIM AS FAR AS I COULD THROW HIM. And, the more I think about it, the less I like the set up. I have gotten us the last ten gigs we've had. I also do all the web design work, the flyer design work, the CD cover design work, the CD label design work, all the promotion, all the legwork, all the telephone work, make all the contacts, all the CD burning, all the recording, AND I have to remember all the lyrics, chords, and tempos to all the songs that we do. In addition to all of THAT, I am also responsible for replacing flaky drummers, making up set lists, writing all the original material, and making sure everyone KNOWS that original material.

Anyway, so I am ticked off about Lawnmower Man and his flakiness and his sole desire to make money off of me. So, I got to thinking: who do I know that might know a drummer? Well, I vaguely remember Kenneth saying something about a guy he knows at work knowing a couple of drummers. So, I call him at work and tell him to get names and numbers from this co-worker of his, and I tell him the story of Horrible Drummer Fiasco. Kenny agrees that I am right about this one (big surprise there) and, when he came home, he did, indeed, have two names for me. So, I made him call them. Well, after a long run-around, we finally get ahold of one of them. I'll call him Piper (you can guess why). He agrees to do it. We call Lawnmower Man and tell him to skip it. (Now he won't make ANY money this weekend. HA! HA!)

I'll remind you at this point that it is now Wednesday, and we have a gig on Saturday. Well, we go over to Piper's "house," which is really a loft over a garage, and talk a little about the situation and we thank him profusely for doing it. Now, I like this guy for a few reasons: one, he's enthusiastic about playing drums; two, he lives in town about a block and half from us; and three, while he is employed, his work doesn't rule his life. Anyway, we plan for him to come over to our house the next night and go over material with him, even though his drum kit is "somewhere else." Okay. So, the time for him to show up comes and goes, and he FINALLY calls about an hour after he was supposed to. He says he's not coming. Oh, great, I'm thinking. ANOTHER flaky drummer. But WAIT! If we give him a ride, he'll come. Okay, so I have Kenny stop and pick him up. We spent Thursday evening going over some of the tougher stuff on our set list. We didn't see him Friday, but we did practice with my brother that night. On Saturday morning, the appointed time for him to come over and go over the matierial with the whole band (with his drum kit) comes and goes, so I again send Kenny over. Ten minutes later, they both show up. So, we get everything set up and we play.

This guy is AMAZING. He is FAR AND GONE better than ANY drummer we have ever played with. So, we played the gig, and it went amazing, considering how long we have been playing with Piper (about 4 hours).

A Business, A Band, & A Bang

It's been quite a month. As I mentioned, I have been working at an Internet Service Provider. I have been doing the work of three people and getting paid minimum wage... that is, until tomorrow. Tomorrow, I am quitting. I am quitting because: 1) I did everything I was asked to do in a quick, efficient manner, and the thanks I got was that they cut my hours in half; 2) I was being physically assaulted; 3) I was being sexually harrassed; 4) I was doing the work of three people. There's one other reason: I was tired of being verbally assaulted over the phone and via e-mail by customers who: a) thought I was lying to them when there Internet service was shut off for non-payment; b) threatened me physical harm (that happened twice); c) cussed me out over the phone. (Also, that my co-workers and supervisors merely laughed this kind of thing off made me angry.)

In brighter news, I passed two math tests, and now, I will be free to finish up my school work this week and have the rest of the summer at my leisure.

We are on the hunt for another drummer. I contacted this drummer from Delaware who says he wants to move back to his hometown (which is here in the Inland Northwest) and he wants to have a band waiting for him when he gets here. Well, that's fine and dandy, but, after getting our CD, he has only called once, and, during that phone call, he asked me for $800 to get him home after he "checked out the band and played with us for two or three days." Well, quite frankly, I can't afford that. He said that he could get up here on his money, so I wonder why he can't just fly up here on his money and we could borrow a drum kit from someone so he could audition. I'm wondering if he's not snowing the hell out of us.

Someone shot a hole in my office window. Luckily, I had left the room, or the bullet would have hit me. It happened on a Tuesday morning. I was printing something out in the office and left the room to get something and when I came back, there was glass all over my printer and a hole in the window. My mom thinks it came from the balcony over the fence from our backyard. That's the landlord's son's house. He owns the house. It must have been someone else, huh? Well, I asked Kenneth to call the police because I was on my way to work, but he didn't, saying that the cops wouldn't do anything. Well, I called them to file a report, but they never called back and they didn't come to the house. Grr. I guess that's it for now.

Et Cetera

My job went full time, so I am busy. I am also in college full time. Still haven't gotten my financial aid check. Kenneth's fingers are getting better (he ran them through a table saw at work). We'll still be playing on the 29th, so that could be fun. There's supposed to be like, 300 people there.

What else...? Um... I am going to be building a web page for some guy. Maybe that will bring in some extra money.

I am so tired and hungry, I can't think of anything to say.

Math, Music, & Me

So, I got offered a job at an Internet Service Provider on a part-time temporary basis taking the place of someone who has taken a week off. All fine and dandy, but it is difficult to learn to do 6 jobs in as many weeks. At any rate, I must have done a good job because they have made me part-time permanent, but I am already working full-time, so we'll see how long THAT lasts.

In other news, the Summer Semester at school just started last week, as well, and I am taking Statistics, which frightens the heck out of me. I am NO GOOD at math. I can barely add without a calculator. But, so far (admittedly, we are only four days in), it's not that hard, and I understand the textbook, so that will help. Incidentally, a college or university will never tell you if they need a piece of paper to process your financial aid forms and get your money to you. They will wait until the you call, wondering why the aid has not been applied to your account. And even then, they'll drag their feet.

Filling In The Blanks

By this point, you might have wondered what the heck has happened to me. Unfortunately, as some of you might have hoped, I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. No, these last few weeks have been crazy.

First, Kenneth, wanting to listen to music, unplugged my desktop computer WHILE IT WAS RUNNING and destroyed either the motherboard or the processor. So, all my files were inaccessible, including this one, so I have been unable to update. In the meantime, the server where I moved my band's website to crashed, so I had to get another website. Fortunately, in the meantime, I bought a domain name and got some space of my own, so the band's website is now here. Also in band news, we're now being played on an Internet radio station: SUN Radio. Trust me, listen long enough, and you'll hear "Wicked Ways" or "Forbidden Blue". Continuing with band news, we'll be playing at The Green Owl Tavern sometime over Memorial Day weekend. At least we'll be getting paid. Finally, the last bit of band news: I've finally finished writing all the songs for the next album, which, with any luck at all, will be out and available at our label's store and at our website store by the end of the year.

In other news, I got a job at a mortgage company, working as a receptionist/jill of all trades. I don't really mind. The pay's not terrible, and there's room for advancement, if I play my cards right. And even if I don't advance within this company, the experience will look good on a resume. As far as school goes, I am falling hopelessly behind. I have 2 ten-page papers to write, 2 four-page papers to write, two projects due for rhetoric, two projects due for my media & culture course, a video due for my camera performance course, and several forum postings due. All of this will need to be done by the end of the month. Not only that, but summer semester courses begin on May 10th. Yipes.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Woo Freakin' Hoo. I am just angry about the whole rejection thing now. Tired of talking about it.

So, I applied for the job that is my destiny: a $5-an-hour screw-off job answering telephones at a mortgage company. I mean, hell, let's face it: I was never meant to be a recording star or a published author or a famous designer or anything really other than a cashier or receptionist. I mean, nothing against those professions, but if I am half as talented as people seem to think that I am, then why hasn't something happened yet?!?!?!?

Fer F&#%'s SAKE!

It happened, just like I knew it would. A few weeks ago, I sent a letter (on the advice of those I considered to be more knowledgeable than me) to the editor (actually, she's an ASSistant editor) who had requested the full copy of my manuscript for Night Cries. She had had the manuscript for six months, so I thought, you know, I have some right to know what's happening with it. It turns out that writing that letter violated the one and only rule that applies to aspiring authors after a publisher has requested a full cpoy of your manscript: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, CONTACT THE EDITOR FOR ANY REASON. HER TIME IS VALUABLE. YOURS IS NOT. So, she rejected the manuscript because I contacted her. What's so sick that it's almost funny is that they spent $15 to send the manuscript back to me. The manuscript pages themselves were mutilated to the point that they are almost unreadable, but there were no markings of any sort on it, thus ruling out some editorial changes as the reason that they sent it back to me. It was almost as if someone had used the pages as hand-drying material in the bathroom or something. Appalling. To top all of THAT off, even after "mulling the manuscript over" for SIX FREAKING MONTHS, I got a FORM LETTER rejection. It was addressed: "Dear Author." Now, what do you think would have happened if I had addressed my query letter with, "Dear Editor" instead of using her title and surname? She would have wiped her nose on the rejection letter before she stuck it in the envelope that she forgot to mail for three years.

What's really galling is that, a few weeks ago, I sent a query letter to an agent seeking representation for Night Cries. Even though I clearly stated that the book was a FANTASY NOVEL set in 1066 AD, they rejected the work on the grounds that a historical novel is a hard sell.

Thus, I have come to the conclusion that many editors and agents are not only cranky, picky, and tempermental, but they are also certifiable morons. Not to mention rude (sentence fragmentation on purpose).

SSDD

Well, my company is well under way. I have spent the last couple of weeks (besides school, the band, and other things) getting the Crescent Moon Design Studio underway. I bought a domain name and set up my site. I have prototype game boards of "Oh,Ship!" made and am preparing for The Real Thing, I have secured funding and have even hired two employees. I may make my millions yet.

In other news, I managed to screw off enough last week that, even though it is Spring Break this week, I am still having to do schoolwork. How dull. I know this stuff. Anyway. The band got a gig last Saturday, and it went well. We made a lot of contacts. I just wish we would do more original material live, but I realize that original material is not what the bar patrons come to hear. They want to hear familiar music that will comfort them and not challenge them; they go to bars to escape, not to think. That's why bands get paid to play cover material and have to pay bars to play originals.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Geez! What a week! One of my teachers posted a study guide for her class (for which I was grateful), but she had us studying six chapters of the book plus a bunch of stuff from the website... all of which turned out to be no help at all. After spending three days studying for the test, I took it yesterday only to find out that it was only twenty questions about things I already knew... I wouldn't have had to read the book at all! Grr. To top that off, I had projects due in two other classes, an assignment due in another, and some other, miscellaneous projects that had to be completed by Monday. Gak!

Other things keeping me busy: 1) the band, 2) my new board game, 3) writing, writing, writing (as usual), and 4) graphics. The band seems to be doing all right, but, truth be known, I'm a little depressed about it. Both the bassist and drummer missed practice this week, which isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I get the feeling that I am the only one really, really interested in doing this. I mean, I am very excited about the music, but no one else seems to be. And I think I offended the drummer. (sigh)

Another thing that I am excited about is the new board game. I have titled it, "Oh, Ship!" It is a game based on the Age of Pirates (the time period only, not another game or anything else; it's entirely my idea) made entirely out of wood. The game board is made of birch and has a map of the Caribbean burned onto it. I am also making wooden dice, wooden ships, wooden figures, wooden plaques, and cards made out of heavy card stock. It's a ton of work, but I love creating things. I should be done with the prototype this week sometime, so I will post pictures when I can. I plan to start manufacturing this game as soon as I can 'cause I could use the money from the sales.

And my writing is all songwriting this week. I wrote two new songs. One is called "Shady." It's a slow blues-rock groove that should sound really cool when I get it all together and recorded.

Waiting, waiting

Still have heard nothing from the publisher or editor. I am starting to think that my manuscript got lost or something. I sent the editor that I sent the manuscript to a follow-up letter, but I have still heard nothing. They are likely very busy people.